Relying on reason and logic to figure out people can leave you frustrated and confused. Why? Because many people don’t “think” at all.
In fact, their thoughts, feelings, and actions may have little to do with you or their present time surroundings. They may only be reacting to a past, mostly painful, experience which has little or nothing to do with you.
It’s a problem because such time or space misidentifications can create instantaneous actions without logical thought followed by odd (irrational) reactions to what was a relatively normal event.
Here’s an easy way I’ve found to help you deal with such things.
First, ask yourself, what is this? Give it a NAME. This alone can diminish the symptoms because now, you’re looking at it, instead of being affected by it.
Next, put a coffee cup on the desk or table in front of you.
Now, take this problem or whatever it was that you named, and put it in the coffee cup. This has the effect of putting some distance between you and the problem. It’s no longer a problem for you, it’s just a coffee cup.
Daniel Jacobs, 2016